When time is ticking away, and we are holding on tight to the old things that hold us down, we cannot move to where we are to be.  We precive things in ways that are unnessacary. Why Cry we grieve overthings that cannot be changed. Yet we dont take the time to realize and be thankful for the things we have, nitthe things we dont have..

AAND people wonder why the world is so screwed up.

its a new day

its a new day

i started blogging to just release some of my inner artist that has been misplaced lately.
I know my life is wonderful, and I thank god that I have people in my life that give a damn.  We are lucky at these times to have ones that care so. I'm always feeling like there is something missing, and i realize that being mom and wife comes with everything i could ask for, they give me their all and dont hold back.  I feel as not working hard to pursue something that i love to better my family im sorta failing them, if not them , then me.  I know this is not true, but it doesnt change that feeling.

So Im deciding to take a stand as a wife and as a mother.  To do something for me, not for selfish reasons, but for reasons beyond me or my family.  Ive strong and fabulous and i have lots of knowlage that im ready to let out.  I need an outlet, something that i can put my hands into and get wet. to feel productive; not saying my family doesnt make me feel that way.  But i want ot make something better of me. I want to show my family that there is a reason to support and stand behind me.  I'm always tired or tired, but no more. i konw that your sospot to wait and do it on new years to make a revolution, but not me, and today is mine... I'm going to love me for me and my family.  I'm going to say today is the day i stop making excuses and do what iI know I'm good at.  I'm going ot work hard and make my family proud.. AMEN!

I was talking to a friend yesterday, we were discussing friends that we can only take in small doses. thats bad right?  But dod you not know people that you can only take in small doses im sure all of us do.

You wonder where you are sospost ot go in life. You wonder if you are on the path that the lord made for you.  You look around at others and wonder the same about them, hwat about hte people that cross your paths? are they meant to be in your life? or are they just floating by, our life span seems so short, yet so long. When You are young and want ot grow up, and when your grown you always want to stay young.. aaahhhh the days of being fed and someone taking care of you. i see and hope our little ones get to enjoy it always

Did you know that once apon a time there were dragons? there were mad kings and cruel queens? they could do as they pleasein thire own land to their people for whatever reason.

dreaming.

Meg woke up thinking she was dreaming. She wasnt sure the dream seemed to fade fast. She opened her eyes, it wasnt a dream. He was there stroking her hair gently, wathcing her sleep. He smiled and kissed her, a long passionite kiss. So loving and willing ot be there. What a family she had, maira was at schoo of course. it was just them three. daddyJ and meg, and their newest little one Kya. The night was so over welming, more than just the night, the whole 9 months had been a wirl wind.

who am i

She's everything that any man could want. Although some didin't share the same opinion she had of herself. It's funny how you preceive yourself a cretian way, and others that you know precive you other ways. If you can only be you no matter who is around. i would like to know hat the people i love understand that i am me and i will disapoint, hell im good at that. I always have.. im sospost ot be hell i dont know what m doing. im hoping if i write everyday that artist inside will come through. ive had writers block for several years im sure that there are things inside that are screaming to come out. but what are they and how do i let it out?


Maybe hes rigth that i need help that i need to go to a doctor, but i remeber that i have, over and over and over, nothing is wrong pyhsically. of course except the fact that im clinically over weight. hell theres lots of things that are wrong with me. Ive always took something to deal with it. now im sober for how long since i meet him. wierd or what? i know that it was about htat time. but i never knew that my issues were so deep that i couldnt manage them, i thought it was just that i didnt want to mange them..

how do i go about living not knowing what my limit is? how do i find it out without going over board?